Lemony Snicket: Why I’m Voting for President Obama

by gradycarter

So this was an article on the HuffingtonPost.com, and being a fan of Lemony Snicket’s, at least I loved the movie “A Series of Unfortunate Events” with Jim Carrey, I had to read it. The article isn’t much of an article at all, as it’s pretty much just bunch of quotes from various Republicans that Mr. Snicket’s found outlandish and offensive. I tend to agree with him. I still question the President, but I have faith in his resolve, and I have never heard him say anything like anyone of these quotes below. The 2 mains quotes that I can think of that make conservatives made at him have been “You didn’t build that” (which was simply acknowledging that society’s investments have paved the way for opportunity), and him saying that in his 2008 campaign that they’d been to 57 states (meaning during the trip that had changed states 57 times…). I am open to hearing criticism of President Obama, really I am, but I am tired of hearing mischaracterizations and hate… Just do this for me, think about whether or not our President would say anything like these statements below… If I’m missing something please let me know and help me understand.


I’m voting for President Obama because, during his second term, we will not hear the following things from him — although we may have heard them from his political opponents:

1. “I don’t know where [Osama bin Laden] is. I just don’t spend that much time on him … to be honest with you.”

2. “I’m not concerned about the very poor.”

3. “I am only going to allow small bills — three pages. You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table.”

4. “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. It’s not OK.”

5. “The life of each human being begins with fertilization … at which time every human being shall have all the legal and constitutional attributes and privileges of personhood…”

6. “I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.”

7. “Drill everywhere. … There is no such thing as global warming.”

8. “Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school.”

9. “What the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy.”

10. “It is three agencies of government when I get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — What’s the third one there? Let’s see.”

11. “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.”

12. “The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.”

13. “Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are.”

–Lemony Snicket, contributor to the 90 Days, 90 Reasons Initiative

In collaboration with:

George W. Bush (1)
Mitt Romney (21113)
Hermain Cain (3)
Rick Santorum (47)
Paul Ryan, co-sponsoring the Sanctity of Human Life bill (5)
Mike Huckabee (6)
Newt Gingrich (8)
Sarah Palin (9)
Rick Perry (10)
Rush Limbaugh (12)

This essay originally ran as part of 90 Days, 90 Reasons. For more essays, written by people such as Judd Apatow, Russell Simmons, Paul Simon, Reza Aslan, and Michael Stipe, go to90days90reasons.com.

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via Lemony Snicket: Why I’m Voting for President Obama.